Quora Q & A: Is Ignoring Your Ex the Best Choice for Moving Forward and Transitioning Into Success? Maybe. Just Maybe.

[Contributing Editor]

Question of the day: Iv been with this girl for coming up to 2years but she still talks about her exes, an I feel indirectly shes trying to send me a msge an I feel 2nd best? Iv told her numerous times but she goes back to talking her about exes? What should I do?

If you've been with someone for nearly two years, and they continue to talk about their exes, it can be frustrating and may make you feel uncomfortable or insecure. Here are some steps you can consider:

• Communicate openly: Start by having an honest and non-confrontational conversation with your partner about how you feel. Express your concerns and emotions calmly, explaining how her talking about her exes makes you feel indirectly compared or insecure.
• Listen actively: Give your partner the opportunity to explain her perspective. She may not be aware of how her actions affect you, or there could be a valid reason for her discussions about exes.
• Understand her motivations: Try to understand why she brings up her exes. It may be that she's trying to provide context for her past or is unaware of how often she does it. Understanding her motivations can help you find a solution together.
• Set boundaries: Discuss and establish boundaries that both of you are comfortable with. Let her know what makes you uncomfortable and what you'd like to see change in your relationship regarding discussions about exes.
• Trust your partner: Building trust in a relationship is crucial. If you've been together for two years, it's likely that you have a strong connection. Trust that your partner values your relationship and is willing to work on this issue together.
• Seek compromise: Relationships often require compromise. Find middle ground where both of you can feel comfortable and secure. This might involve her being more mindful of how often she talks about her exes or reframing the way she discusses them.
• Consider professional help: If the issue persists and causes significant distress in your relationship, couples therapy or counseling can be a helpful option. A trained therapist can facilitate communication and provide guidance on how to address the issue effectively.